Unveiled: Balancing Idealism with Pragmatism

Dec 01, 2022

You might be familiar with this somewhat trending image if you are following the conversation on women in the workplace, particularly the survey by McKinsey & LeanIn.Org.

At first glance, this looks like a powerful statement - finally, women are standing up for what they deserve and walking away when they don’t get it. Dig deeper and then you question whether this is effective in getting to the desired outcome.

A 2012 study of alumni of top business schools found that, other things being equal, more men than women had direct reports and budget responsibility of greater than $10 million. Men’s projects had budgets twice as big as women’s and headcounts three times the size. About one third of the men reported getting a great deal of C-suite visibility while working on their projects, compared to one quarter of the women.

Apart from the implied ‘flexibility’ factor in the cartoon, which can be an objective part of the offer letter and rules of the company, the “Great Breakup” doesn’t necessarily solve for the issues that they are running away from. How often do we hear whether women showed up as advocates for themselves, i.e., gained sponsors and challenged the status quo, and still received pushback from the organizations they were a part of? Can we assume that they are actually chasing idealistic ‘greener pastures’, feeling empowered to change the rules of the game, only to hit the same barriers with similar challenges in a new place? Let’s not forget this is a lifetime of entrenched norms in how organizations operate, that foundational systemic change takes time, and effort by many. While walking away chasing that rainbow may seem like the path to least resistance, it is not always the solution, unless we have clarity that we have exhausted all possible solutions in the current organization and it is not willing to change.

This month’s theme is focused on pushing for progress, driving real change through resilience and conviction - balancing idealism with pragmatism and achieving advancement through authentic sponsorship.

First things first…

Just like number of Facebook friends (or should we call them Meta friends?) is not an indication of your real friends (you know, the ones you call at 2am to discuss existential crises and life-altering decisions), number of LinkedIn connections is not an indication of the strength of your network, as in real connections who will use their influence to advocate for you or even celebrate and amplify your successes.

Like any relationship, sponsorship needs time and intentional effort to reach its maximum potential.

Remember - building a robust network, cultivating authentic sponsorship takes time and effort. Put yourself in the sponsor’s place and imagine your reaction if someone asks you to put your hard-earned reputation and credibility on the line by using your influence for them.

Unlocking true sponsorship is when you move into the ‘Opportunity Giver’ and ‘Advocate’ ends of the spectrum. The best sponsor is someone who is present when key staffing decisions are made, has relationships with other influential executives in the firm, and is willing to use their hard-earned political influence to help get you into a mission-critical assignment that others want as well.

Information is Power

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The Field of Technology Continues to Fail Women and Non-binary People: The central finding of the 2021 Technical Equity Experience Survey (TechEES) report is that, since 2019, experiences in tech have gotten worse for all marginalized genders, but are increasingly worse when the data are broken down by intersectional identities.

Before you decide to run away from the current scenario of inequitable access to advancement (projects, promotion, pay), have you taken steps to test the robustness of your network, both inside your workplace and outside, ensuring you are running towards better outcomes? Make a list of people you can have a candid career conversation with - reach out and open the conversation. Approach the conversation broadly about navigating your career in general, ask open-ended questions, be curious. Reflect after each conversation and take honest notes. Where are you on the relationship spectrum with them?

Unveiling answers to your questions

This month’s question came from stories people shared with us on LinkedIn: “How to navigate a situation where a sponsor helped me step into management but when that person saw me coming out strong, they were quick to discourage further advancement?”

Ideally, we want all positive relationships to last a lifetime, but realistically, that is rare. Similarly, a sponsor relationship might also gradually fade away and that is fine too. Think about your journey in incremental steps - as the very old saying goes, some people come into your life for all seasons while others come for a reason. Both are required for continued growth.

Intentionally strategizing about identifying and cultivating authentic sponsors is just as important as mapping out your career goals. The higher up you move in your career, this becomes more critical. Having an executive-level sponsor can be a ‘make or break’ for your career, particularly when it comes to getting important roles that are stepping-stones to the top.

Going into the New Year, answer these 4 questions (treat it like a journaling exercise):

What does career advancement mean to you in this moment?
Who is the most powerful person who knows you and your work well enough to be willing to vouch for your capability? Can they play a part in your goals for advancement?
If those who know you and your work are not influential enough to advocate for you, where on the spectrum can they help? (Refer to the exercise under ‘Information is Power’).
Can they help connect you to someone who is? Or, give you a project that has you presenting to such a person?

The Path Ahead …and How YOU can join us on this journey

In the spirit of defiant optimism, we truly believe we can change the game! It’s all about proper planning and implementation.

However, as we embark on this journey of cultivating sponsors for ourselves, let’s also pay attention to where we can advocate for others. As author, coach, and positive psychology expert Caroline Adams Miller shared, when a word doesn't exist, that is an indication of the behavior not being defined. She embarked on a search for a word with a definition that will create a much more inclusive, equitable, and kind world - ability to feel joy in other people's joy. It's quite telling that a word doesn't exist for that behavior except in Hebrew (firgun) and Sanskrit (mudita).

As we note in our Community Credo:

This community has come together with every individual’s motivation towards helping others. Even as we continue to work on ourselves to improve, and for our members to cultivate sponsors to drive their own career advancement, we will always cheer each other on, helping each other get better, and celebrating each other’s successes, even when they come before ours.

Let’s do our part in feeling and expressing joy in other people’s joy.